Josh after Party Round
life update!
My name is Joshua. I am 20 years old & I live in Bushwick. When I introduce myself to people in Bushwick, I think their first reaction is sometimes “damn my rent is going up.”
Both my sisters have changed their names. But I carry on mine. Partly because I think someone in the family should, but mostly because it’s my fathers, and I try to honor him through it.
My father was a writer & a religious leader growing up. When I was young, I thought I’d always be religious but never a writer. I’m starting to I think I may have been wrong on both counts.
People need Religion because it provides us with the sense of purpose needed to get out of bed everyday. I’ve always viewed my work as inseparable from my identity, and somewhere along the line I think this startup became my religion. I think this is part of what makes building companies so magical, at their core they’re based mostly on belief.
Over this summer, during a pause in intensity I was forced to confront two uncomfortable truths. 1) I was deeply unhappy with my life, and 2) I had no idea who I was outside of my job. I began to suspect they were related. That is not a mentality that serves you well on an elite team hitting their stride right now, as Capital is.
People get fired or leave jobs all the time. I think it might be a bit self-centered to write a blog post about leaving a company, even one so celebrated or intertwined with me. But I've been really grateful to have an audience, and I feel the need to justify change to you all.
Two quotes I have been repeating often to myself during this very strange week:
The first from Dune: “And always, he fought the temptation to choose a clear, safe course, warning “That path leads ever down into stagnation.”
The second from my friend Hamzat, who recently on a walk told me: “Your best work is still so far ahead of you"
Now for some logistical stuff:
I don’t have a plan right now other than taking some time to rest & write — but I am beginning to look for what’s next. I'm exploring a few personal projects & ideas, but I am generally open to anything. If you're working on something interesting please reach out!
I’m also taking this time to consult certain projects/protocols I synergize well with, mainly in marketing & design. If you’d be interested in that, I’m happy to chat — but I’ll only commit if I think I could really move the needle.
Lastly, if we haven’t chatted in awhile (or ever) I would love to use this an excuse to catch up.
I’ll end with some gratitude. To the whole team at Capital, I’m so grateful I got to spend the last 18 months with you, I know you’ll continue to do amazing. Thanks to the many friends who have taken time to chat with me this past month. Thanks to ~silnem for helping get this blog set up, Haley for shooting my photo and to anyone who took the time to read this sappy shit.
I owe you all so much
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